I want to make a zoo with you.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
