More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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