Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
No...this little piggys going to the bar
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
