Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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