Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
