you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i believe in u and ur pee
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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