Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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