You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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