I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
