then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
