It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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