well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
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2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
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i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!