Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize