I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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