Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
