My brain says no but my pants say off.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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