How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
