i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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