just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
