Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
