WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
