The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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