im drinking this country out of the recession.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
