I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
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Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
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There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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