Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
