it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
