Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
we made out on top of his cat.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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