the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
