we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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