bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
