You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
