I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
