im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
