Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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