What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
