well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Michael Bay diarrhea
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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