I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
