whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
