dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
