im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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