Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
