So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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