Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
