Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
