absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
