The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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