literally had 100 drinks last night.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
