I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize