if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
