i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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