sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
