i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
