Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
