just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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