I heard we made out
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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