I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
