Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
