And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
