Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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