if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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